Critique/comments on my first chapter, please?
The clouds were like fields of purple-dull heather, pressing in on my bedroom window when the storm hit.
Normally it was comforting, strangely enough- the level-headed drumbeat of rain, the bright silver lightning and the knowledgeable,
Hello,
So I like this a lot in actuality. There are a few things that I don't. There is a little *too* much description that bogs down near your toe-hold. You have an eye for detail, but I'm thinking that you tend to slip into over description
Hilij Held, a neighbor, wheeled in a zebra-lined suitcase and extracted a well-used iron. “It doesn't occupation anymore,” she said. “No 
Even as they hit their ridge, the writing was on the wall for steam-powered trains. As early as 1910 they began to be replaced by cleaner, easier to use diesel trains; by the '50s the demise of the steam locomotive was basically a fait accompli.
